Isn’t it funny how some things you can’t ever forget? I mean even if you wanted to you just can’t. It seems just like yesterday I was anxiously and nervously waiting in a sky blue room at Le Bonheur Children’s Hospital. My husband and I were just told that our son’s blood sugar was so high that the hospitals glucometer couldn’t read it and it reads up to 600!!!
Sitting in silence, rapidly bouncing my leg, fearful of the unknown. The door opened and two male nurses walked into the room. They made some small talk but nothing could ease the fact that my heart was in my stomach. They instructed for us to put Landon on the table as they were about to start an IV on him. My eyes bulged as I couldn’t believe that those needles were about to be put in my son’s little arm. They told my husband to come by Landon’s side and hold him down and told me that I can leave the room because most moms do. I told him I’m not most moms, I’m not going anywhere!!!
Trust me, I wanted to leave. Of course I didn't want to see my baby like that. But I just couldn’t imagine my son looking to me for comfort or to save him and I’m nowhere around. I look at staying in that room symbolically. For me it symbolized that no matter what my son goes through in his journey with diabetes, no matter how much he’s hurt, I have to stay strong for him and assure him that I am always by his side at any cost!!! As the nurse inserted the needle into Landon’s arm he began to scream, kick, and cry. I held him down forcefully, I held back my tears and began singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Once it was all over, I calmed Landon down and handed him over to my husband. I casually walked out the room, walked down the hallway, found myself a corner and cried like a little baby.
That moment was the beginning to the emotional roller coaster of this thing called diabetes.
This was beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing.
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